First Time Father. Baby Care

Pregnancy Check Up - Husbands Accompany Your Wife

As a working first time father, I know it is hard to take time out during working hours to accompany your wife to her routine pregnancy check ups. But let me tell you it is important that you do.

In my opinion, there are four reasons for this.

Reason One
The gynecologist is overly cautious and not encouraging. These are the nasty gynecologists, and yes, they do exist, our first gynecologist was just like that. He was constantly warning us of possible complications because of findings that aren't even conclusive without any reassurance. That was not good. My wife was then suffering from pregnancy induced hypertension became more stressed after each visit. She needed comfort and assurance that I was able to give at those moments.

Reason Two
You are assuming that the fetal development will be fine. The blood test my wife took indicated there was a risk our baby might have Down syndrome. You can imagine how that affected my wife, she was all emotional. I was affected too, but there needed to be a stronger party.

Can you imagine receiving a phone call at work to hear such news from your emotional wife? You will be torn between your own emotion, your wife's emotion and work. You can forget about work and you probably would not have gotten all the facts from your wife. Being there for the pregnancy check up when the news was given gives you a better perspective of things and you are able to clarify things with the gynecologist.

Reason Three
Visiting your gynecologist or doctor with your wife gives her a sense of assurance and it is a clear way to show your wife you are there for her and you are interested in the development of the baby. Whether she admits it or not, it does mean a lot to her. Whenever my wife shares about our visits to the gynecologist with her friends, she would be the envy of everyone in the group and you can tell it makes my wife very happy. You see, most husbands don't accompany their wife for routine pregnancy check ups.

So guys, do your wife proud, go with her and don't stay outside the consultation room but go in with her, it really shows your interest and that you care.

Reason Four
Being in the gynecologist's room and hearing direct from the gynae is definitely different from hearing second hand news from your wife. You get to ask questions and during the examination process, a good gynecologist will explain things about the fetal development to you. You get to learn and understand things better and it is most beneficial for subsequent pregnancies that you will go through with your wife.

One of the most beneficial is that it prepares you when certain things happen. For example, we both learnt from our gynecologist that sometimes a baby can be sleepy and less active, when that happens, mothers will experience fewer movements from the baby. That did happen to our second baby. When faced with the actual situation that knowledge might not come to her mind. My wife became concerned and told me about it.

Now husbands, we are not carrying the baby inside us, so we don't get as emotionally attached as mothers do. I was able to assure her that things are fine and that the baby could be sleepy, reminding her of what the gynae had told us. Things could have become worse if I had not learnt from the many pregnancy check ups and add to her worry by being worried myself.

Whatever the reason, husbands, pregnancy check ups are important and you should be there in the consultation room with your wife for as many visits as possible. There are more reasons for you to go than not to go.

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