First Time Father. Baby Care

Should I Expect Our Parents to Help Full Time?

Am I right to expect our parent to help care for your baby full time?

Having to juggle between work and caring for your baby is hard, and I can understand fully if you need help from your parents to help care for your baby, especially when it is your first child. I had a friend when he became a first time dad, I enquired how he was coping with fatherhood, he replied that it was hard. My immediate response was, “Don’t you have someone to help you?”

“Yes, my mother is helping but she has forgotten quite a fair bit about handling a baby” he replied, “it was a mistake, perhaps I should have gotten a confinement lady for the first month”. (A confinement lady is someone who is paid to live in with the baby and mother for a month to care for both of them).

That somewhat surprised me. We have always had the impression that parents are their children’s hero after delivery. Mom seems to know everything and can flow right into the role of a natural baby care-giver. Afterall, she raised us.

I then recalled that had I enquired of another friend and her reply was her mother was unwilling to take care of their baby everyday as it was too tiring for her. Her mother would much prefer to spend time out with friends.

It would appear that times have changed. In our fast paced society we live in, grandparents seem to share a similar sentiment that they have done their part to the country and in raising their children. Now it is time for them to enjoy themselves with their remaining years.

Perhaps our parents fear their inability to care for the grandchild; they are afterall older in age compared to our great grandparents when they became grandparents. Adults are getting married and having kids at an older age.

One thing is for sure, our parents are more ready to care for the expecting mother as the effort and time involved is far less than caring for a baby.

Whatever the reasons may be, I am sure our parents are willing to help on occasions when asked though they may be somewhat reluctant. However, to help out full time is quite another matter and in an Asian context, you would likely need to be prepared to employ a maid to help your parents care for your baby.

What does all this mean? Well, simply this, ask but don't expect full time help, part time is most appropriate in this time and age and be prepared to add on to your expenses for hired help.

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