First Time Father. Baby Care

Choosing A Gynecologist

How do you choose the right Gynae for your wife?

Finding a Gynecologist for your wife isn't just a matter that should be left to your wife alone. Both you and your wife should be comfortable with the Gynecologist you will be seeing throughout your wife's pregnancy.

You would start doing your homework, ask friends and relatives for recommendations and then arrive at a well-researched and recommended gynae that you can afford. Even then, you might not be happy with that gynae throughout your wife's pregnancy.

In my wife's first pregnancy, we settled for a recommended gynecologist who was reputable and experienced. You would have thought that she was in good hands, but that wasn't quite what happened. I went with my wife to every consultation with the gynecologist and each time she come out of every visit stressed and worried. With that Gynecologist, we went through the entire pregnancy fearing for our baby's development.

My wife had pregnancy-induced hypertension and going through our first pregnancy, we were somewhat concerned for our baby, we would take every advise our gynae had to give to us. But I found myself having to encourage my wife after every visit, which should had been the Gynecologist's responsibility. Our Gynecologist never had any encouraging things to tell us and never assured us that our baby would be fine. Every visit he would have some unfavorable precautions to tell us.

To look at things positively, it was his job to prepare us in the event that something unfortunate would happen. My presence with my wife at those visit was a great help to her, she was able to draw assurance, encouragement and strength from me. Imagine what would have happened if I wasn't with her, she would probably be pouring her heart out to me over the phone at work or quietly enduring the fear until I got home. Praise the Lord, our daughter was born normal and healthy!

We learned the hard way that gynecologists, even the best of them, had different opinions of a condition. With our second child, my wife had the same pregnancy-induced hypertension. We went to another gynecologist and was is total delight! Even though there was a possibility of conceiving a baby with Down syndrome, our new gynae was very encouraging and even gave us hope to what seemed bleak to us. Even her hypertension wasn’t any cause of alarm to the gynecologist. Guess what? Our son was born normal and healthy too! We found peace and assurance from our second gynae.

What’s really important, besides finding an experienced gynecologist is to find one that your wife will be comfortable. You can test your gynae during your first visit by asking unfavourable pregnancy questions and listen to how the gynecologist would respond. After which, decide if you are both comfortable and receive a sense of assurance with the gynae? If you are not, find another one.

From our experience, should your gynae brings you unfavorable news, consider seeking a second opinion before deciding on your course of action.

Remember, a peaceful mind leads to a happier mother and child.

Happy hunting for your gynecologist.

Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads
by Gary Greenberg, Jeannie Hayden

The book is filled with advice that will appeal to the solution-centered male perspective, from step-by-step swaddling instructions to a guide for identifying six distinct infant crying patterns and more. Vetted by "several distinguished fellows" at the American Academy of Pediatrics.